A monkeys life in 2D

armed and dangerous

2007-04-22T13:16:00.000-10:00

photo experiment

2007-03-21T12:16:00.000-10:00

lucky in the hallway

liam riding his new bike

liam with his mouth full of food at chuck e. cheeses

my desk. since it's going in the trash when we move i never bothered to put the finishing touch's on it.

liam in the mushroom chair

liam taking a bubble bath

liams prefered mode of slumber

a break-thru

2007-03-09T16:40:00.000-10:00

Liam has finally been semi-potty trained. He'll pee in the toilet, even tell you when he has to go. unfortunately the other one still eludes him.
Also, posted a lot of pics at myspace ( i barely bother with this link) if you wanna see.

will

Right, so it's been a long time. Sorry 'bout that

2007-03-02T19:59:00.000-10:00

k, so it's been a really long time since I posted anything. A lot of that has to do with the my Internet acting up and me just not being able to post pics here to easily, which was my whole plan. Hopefully it'll stop that, but tonight's not the night to experiment as I have to go to work in about an hour or so.

It's actually mildly amazing that the last post had to do with us moving to Oregon, since that decision seems like it was made so long ago.

major, Liam turned 3 and his party was a bust. we invited the neighborhood and, oddly, only 2 people showed up. Neither of which we knew at all so it was kinda weird. But June and Shannon showed up and Shannon brought Maya who is like a year older than Liam so he really didn't care. Really the only draw back was that since we were expecting a 20-30 people we had a lot of hamburgers and hot dogs for the next couple weeks. Of course Liam didn't mind as he could eat hot dogs 24/7 and never get tired of them. I got about 100 pics i have to upload into the comp, but again, that's for another day.

Sheena got a laptop and I semi-built a new computer. I say semi cause I pretty much just watched, but I feel fairly comfortable in the ability to upgrade it as needed. Tho it won't be needed for some time as I pretty much got top of the line stuff ( in fact, if i had the room I could run 2 monitors at once and I do have the monitors, just one of them is about the size of an ol'timie t.v. and would crush my computer desk). In fact about the only thing salvaged from the old computer was the hard drive, aside from that everything was replaced( including the case since the old one was way to small to fit my new components). Part of the reason my Internet has been acting up is because of the wireless that got installed. I need to go out and get another wireless card that actually matches my router and doesn't suck. Can't complain about it to much, cause at the very least it looks cool and when it comes to computers that's really all that matters ( kinda like cars in that way). Just today I got some stuff that allows me to put my camcorder videos on the computer( or burn directly to CD/DVD. which would be great if the other thing that hadn't been tossed out was the CD/rcd drive. In fact really the only drive i have right now is the DVD drive). After being pissed cause it froze my computer every time i tried to copy the video for most of the day it finally worked ( I'm beginning to think the computer gods mess with me every time i go near a computer just so they can sit back and giggle. For about 3 days my computer really was nothing more than a glorified light show, until Chris realized that the drive he had given me and installed had been fried beforehand).

Well, there's a couple more things to tell, but it's getting near the time i have to head out so until next year when i decide to post again ( at least I'm not as bad as kirk).

will

Update # 3758

2007-01-26T21:15:00.000-10:00

For those of you not aware of it yet, we are moving to oregon. Also some of the paperwork came in earlier than we really expected so we got about 90 days left on the rock.

complete

2007-01-18T10:48:00.000-10:00

k, deleted most the stuff. pretty much anything with pics and most the blogs. i had to spare a few because of thier greatness (it's raining zen has to be the greatest blog i will probably ever write).anyway, new pics will be up shortly

jj

Whadda ya mean wrong holiday? pt. 1 ( the party)

2006-12-28T15:51:00.000-10:00

kinda dark in here, let me turn on the flash
oh!! its a spooky graveyard!!
ok, not really that spooky
Liam inspecting the witch's hair display
liam galloping on his horse
i love the way this picture looks
cowboy liam
i got to work on the red eye reduction thing

liam holding up his glowstick in triumph

Hehehehehe

2006-12-24T13:44:00.000-10:00

It's Raining Zen

2006-03-28T16:53:00.000-10:00

Some of the best moments in my life have occurred at 2 in the morn, caked in mud, exhausted, sitting in the middle of a monsoon, and hungry enough not to care that my meatloaf MRE has become mystery meat soup.
You reach a quiet zen about yourself in moments like this. You can't whine about it, there's way to much to whine about. It's the difference between holding a handful of dirt and trying to hold the world in your hands. You can't explain how much it sucks to anyone because anyone not there would never be able to grasp the full suckiness of the situation and anyone there doesn't need for it to be explained.
Like dry ice, so cold it burns, the moment sucks so much it makes you happy. You don't care that your bills are overdue, your broke, your girlfriend left you for your best friend or that your dog died. In the infinite suckiness of the moment these worries seem distant. Instead you concentrate on not shivering long enough to put the spoonful of rain soaked meat in your mouth.
Many of you know I left the army about 4 yrs. ago. Rainy nights are now usually spent snuggled in bed under layers of blankets pondering just how "soft" I have become.
A few of you may know that for the last couple of weeks Hawaii has been hit by torrential rains. Enough to break a dam on one island and flood several area's of mine.
A couple of you may know that my job is to drive around all-night, repeatedly doing things that require me to leave the safety of my car and stand in the rain.
None of you know that I am sick.
This isn't a story about how I reached some zen like peace one night while standing in the rain. This is me whining. I'm cold, I'm wet, I'm hacking up a lung, I'm tired and I want to go home, crawl into my bed, possibly cuddle my wife and ponder just how "soft" I have become.

An Eventfull Birthday

2006-01-15T14:28:00.000-10:00

Having put off cleaning the house for Liam's party I was in the bedroom cleaning when I heard the crash and scream. I bolted into the living room wondering where Liam had gotten glass from. Our house is set up to accommodate Liam, anything he isn't supposed to play with is put out of reach and it was baffling me where he had gotten something glass.
The scene came into view, glass all around him, Liam was bleeding from a cut on his knee and one on his forehead. Now I knew what had happened. Earlier I had put some candles on the entertainment center. Liam had climbed on the end table, reached up and got a hold of one. I scooped him up and headed for the shower. We get in and I begin the cleaning process as I try to asses the damage. Once he is cleaned I confirm that there is no glass in his wounds. We sit there, letting the hot water wash away our worries. Eventually we get out to face the world again, I head to the living room to clear it of glass.
Liam has recently discovered the joy of standing in dresser drawers and with the fish tank on top of his dresser he loves to climb on the rocking chair, open the top drawer, climb in, and play in the fish tank.
This is where I found him, or more correctly his feet. The rest of him was dangling upside-down from the drawer. I assisted him out and calmed him down. We had a discussion about the dangers of dresser climbing and mutually decided that it being a rough day ( on top of it being his birthday) what was needed was a trip to the park. We grabbed Bobo and headed off.
Bobo joined him on the platform, running around, and even sliding with Liam. Liam was playing with Bobo's leash and walking backwards. I noticed he was getting pretty close to the edge, and moved to intercept. No sooner had I rounded the corner then Liam dropped off the edge. Scooping him up I began comforting him. After about a minute he wanted down and scampered back up the slide.
Liam really is a hardy little monkey and after the morning he'd had I was surprised he didn't want to just sit on the couch watching the wiggles all day (god knows I would have). Thankfully Liam didn't suffer anymore injuries that day and his party went off with minimal issues ( Bobo peed a couple times, but Bobo always pee's when we have guests over and the cake turned everyone blue, but it wasn't permanent).

Batteries not included

2005-12-20T11:20:00.000-10:00

My mechanical skills are lacking. As far as I know the engine could be fancy housing for a couple of gerbils and thier little gerbil wheels (in the case of my car I don't doubt this as it has trouble going up hills. It's a matter of gerbil power, not horsepower). I have twice gotten a flat tire and opened up the hood looking for the problem (really, when you go inside to tell your wife something is wrong with the engine and she's the one who spots the flat tire you have no business near a car with tools of any kind ). Since the flat tire incidents I have improved. I have actually changed a flat tire and replaced the light bulb in the taillight.So, when our car broke down last week I felt fairly confident in my ability to replace the battery (that thing that provides electricity so the gerbils don't have to work in the dark). I set about my work with a wrench, pliers, a knife, a towel and a litter of Pepsi(for the corrosion on the connectors). After an hour of grunting, straining, and scraping it became obvious that the nut wasn't coming off the bolt.I called my dad. He suggested cutting the bolt off and replacing the connectors. Sheena,meanwhile, had called one of her mechanical inclined co-workers.He suggested banging it with a hammer (the bang-it-with-a-hammer technique has a long history in all types of mechanics dating back to 1805 when Edward(Eddie) bagitwithahammer invented the technique when he got irate at his phonograph and took a hammer to it). Never one to miss an opportunity to bang something with a hammer (I blame this on never attending pre-school,in general I blame everything on this). Within 5 min the connector was off and I went to work trying to get the nut off the bolt. It became apparent that even with the better angle I was able to achieve it wasn't budging. Luckily dad had already explained how to change the connectors so I was prepared. What I wasn't prepared for was the box. One of the wires coming off the connector wondered around until it went out of sight on it's journey to give light to the gerbils. The other wasn't a wire. It was a sheet of copper that fit snuggly into a box about the size of a pack of baseball cards (or yu-gi-o cards for you anime dorks out there). This wouldn't have bothered me to much except the whole thing was corroded. At this point I gave up and called in the paid professionals. A #%$^#!!!box cost me approx. $100 and for all I know it's the gerbils refridgerator.

The Story of Us:Part 4 (The Simpsons & Baby Blues)

2005-11-08T15:56:00.000-10:00

Dec. 4, 1979- Covered in various fluids I was forced out of the warmth of the only home I had known for the past 8 months. I was spanked, wiped down and my umbilical cord was severed forever cutting of the ties to my mothers womb. Nobody bothered to ask me if this was what I wanted. 23 years and 39 days my son suffered the same fate. This is his story, told as I saw events transpire that day.
Jan 11, 2004- Imagine if you will, a house. In this house live a man and a woman. The man is preparing for work, he has just started work again after several weeks off in anticipation of the birth of his 1st child. The woman (belly swollen from a baby already a week overdue) has just had her water break. Since they are both new at this, they are unsure of exactly what has just happened. There is a discussion going on as to whether or not a hospital visit is warranted. They have made many trips to the hospital in the last few weeks due to false alarms and it is decided that this is probably just another one. The man goes to work, he works the night shift as a mall security guard. He comes home at approx. 6 in the morning, tired from a long shift of walking around aimlessly all night. The woman is awake, she is now certain that a hospital trip is necessary. Tired from the long night at work and working on no sleep the man drives the woman to the hospital where the woman's suspicions are confirmed. The baby if finally on his way. The woman is set up on an adjustable bed, the man is left to suffer on an uncomfortably small chair. He tries to stay awake to comfort his wife, but eventually his weariness overcomes him and he falls asleep. He is unable to get much sleep tho, because the woman is constantly bickering at him about something. He tries to do his best, he knows she is in pain, but his mind is slow and irritable from the lack of sleep. Finally she is given an epadiral and calms down. The man can finally rest and so can she.
Jan 12 2004 at 5pm the woman receives the first signs of that the child is ready to come out.The nurse is called in and begins to coach the woman. The man stands out of the way. Soon enough the man is asked to help the woman push by holding one of her legs. He did not want to find himself in this position,he wanted to be next to his wife holding her hand. He did not want to be anywhere with a view of what was happening below her waist. Sadly this was not to be, there was a shortage of nurses due to the many babies being born that day and he was needed down below. Thankfully the Simpsons came on the room television providing the needed distraction during the woman's rest periods. The nurses made fun of the man for this, but he figured it was better than passing out. Indeed the day ones child is born is a glorious day, but it's a thing best watched from a vantage point that allows one to not see a head sticking out of a place one would rather not see a head sticking out of. The Simpsons could at least allow the man a space of time in which to pretend he hadn't just seen what he had seen. It is proven that god himself approved of this arrangement for as the credits of The Simpsons begin rolling the mans son is brought fully into this world.He is wiped down, and handed to the man to cut the umilical cord forever severing his sons ties to the womans womb.

THE END

The Story of Us:Part 3( Gas Problems & Circling Sharks)

2005-10-25T19:02:00.000-10:00

I awoke the next morning having already taken care of the 1st major issue. Since I didn't have any wheels of any kind I had asked Jesse to borrow his. He said yes, the only catch was that since he had to work that day I would have to pick him up and drop him off. A little bit after I got back from dropping Jesse off at work Sheena came over. We hung out for awhile , then started out to pick up Jesse. Edwards and Shannon(not the one ya'll met) asked if we could drop them of at the mall.
Through out my life girls have always seemed to come to me in triplicate. I can go forever without a single prospect, but everytime one shows up, at least two more come along causing major headaches for yours truly. This time it wasn't hard to decide, but I still had to deal with the others. Shannon was one of them.
Holt had met Shannon a couple months before at the shopette(like a 7-11, only on base). She called him out of the blue a couple weeks later, and since during the period he had acquired a girlfriend he passed her off to Edwards. After several weeks Edwards was getting tired of her and looking to pass her off. This brings us up to the Thursday night before I met Sheena. Ray, Shannon, and I decided to take a trip to waikiki that night. We didn't hit any bars or clubs, just wandered the streets(it's a fascinating town at night). It ended up being kinda wierd because as the night drew on it became almost a pseudo-date for me and Shannon. We began holding hands as we walked, shooting each other looks, in fact at the end of the night we ended up on the beach and she told me she would have kissed me had it not been for Edwards. I already knew Edwards was looking to pass her off so all I had to do was have a talk with Edwards sometime during the weekend. Of course after Friday night no more thoughts of hooking up with Shannon entered my cranium. Turned out to be dang fine timing to 'cause in the following weeks the true insanity of Shannon was revealed for all(not to mention the revealing of a certain condition that starts with H and stays with you your whole life)
We drop those two off at the mall and start on our way to pick up Jesse. The truck makes it another couple of miles and runs out of gas. CRAP!! I had been so distracted by Sheena that I hadn't even glanced at the gas gauge( for that matter it's pretty surprising that I didn't get into an accident because I was barely paying attention to the road). I'm seriously worried here, I'm on my 1st date with a hot girl and I run out of gas. Not only that but I have no idea where a gas station is located. Luckily we were near the Pearl Harbor gate. We wander up there and ask the gate guard where the nearest gas station is. He informs us that it is at least a mile and a half down. I'm freaking her, there is no way this could get worse. In every story I have ever read, when ever someone says it can't possibly get any worse, it always does, and this one is no exception. The gas station is pumps only, no little convince store from which I could possibly buy something to put the gas in. I have to hussle back a half a mile to the shoppette we passed on the way there. Sheena opts out on the trip. A lone female doesn't stay that way for long on a military base. As I'm jogging to the shoppette Johnny Seaman is running to his car, he smells girl and she's alone. Blood is in the water. The sharks are circling. My time is limited.She may turn down the 1st couple offers for a ride,but eventually she's going to realize that I'm the retard that ran out of gas on our 1st date and accept an offer. I get to the shopette, grab a couple of jugs of O.J. (god couldn't make this easy on me, noooo, they couldn't possibly have actual gas cans), and I'm out the door. In the four years I spent doing twelve mile road marches with 50 pounds on my back or endless marches thru the woods with mind numbingly small amounts of sleep never has half a mile seems longer or more daunting.Every step closer I expected to see the gas station and no Sheena. She was there when I got back, otherwise this would have been a tale of how I lost a hot girl because I'm a retard and ran out of gas on our 1st date. I get back, empty the jugs out, refill them with gas then promptly head out on the wrong foot by going in a different direction(I was really working hard on messing that day completely up). I had spotted a gate that I thought would place us closer to the truck and it would have, had it not been closed for repairs. Fortunately (god was paying me back for the gas can incident) there was a guy there and Sheena used her womanly charms to secure us a ride back to Jesse's truck. We get back, use a coke bottle as a funnel, dump the few gallons of gas in the truck, head back to the gas station, fill up the truck, and start out (again) to pick up Jesse

CONTINUED

The Story of Us : part 2(Mr. Crappy Cowboy Hat & Felt Shirts)

2005-10-19T07:05:00.000-10:00

The way the Pearl club is set up as soon as you wander thru the door off to your left is the bar. This is where me and Jesse are,ordering our beer. We order, I turn around to scan the crowd and locate our clan. That's when I spot sheena, she's chatting with another girl that I vaguely know in our group. I ask Jesse if he knows who she is, but he doesn't. Here's my dilemma, while great at conversation in a group where I can wander around and the sole greatness of the conversation rests on various people, I suck at picking up girls in a one on one setting. I begin devising a plan(something I rarely do when it comes to girls, but this was a special circumstance) See, even tho I haven't talked to the girl Sheena's talking to that much, I'm pretty sure she's interested in me. This is key to my plan because every guy knows that if a girl likes you she's more likely to laugh at your jokes. You could be the worst comedian in the world and still get a girl to laugh if she's interested in you. This is key because I'm going to use her like a sitcom laugh track( it doesn't matter how stupid a sitcom is, you still find yourself laughing at the lamest joke at some point because of the laugh track, sorta like the yawning phenomenon). I'm in there, I'm joking, I'm talking, I'm bringing in sheena just enough so she's involved enough not to wander away, but not to much so it's doesn't become a one on one situation, yet anyway. I'm juking, I'm jiving,I'm swinging on the homerun ball... and along comes the curveball, complete with the dorkest cowboy hat ever worn by a man. But I'm on, I'm pulling her in, keeping her there, this moment is mine. I am frigging Michelangelo and this is my Sistine chapel. Mr. Crappy cowboy hat doesn't stand a chance. I am a conversational god at this moment. Every time he comes by I'm reeling her in. Sure, he might say a few things, but mostly he justs stands there in his crappy cowboy hat (looking like a frigging dork) and eventually he wanders off again. As time passes I begin to weave sheena into the conversation more and more, leaving the other girl further and further behind. Then, the masterstroke, the hand of god reaching out to man, the line
"Is that shirt felt?" I causally ask
"No, I think it's cotton or something"she replies
"Do you want it to be?"

At this point I must tell you a few things
1st- I have never, ever, ever, ever used a legitimate line on a girl the first night I met her( there was one time that was close, but that was more of a statement of intent then a pick up line). That's not to say I haven't used them before, I have , but usually with girls that I've known awhile and it's more of a joke then anything else.
2nd- This is the second turning point that night, despite my previous conversational god-likeness this was what it all came down to. That line was what really opened the door for me and slammed the door in Mr. Crappy cowboy hats face(hopefully busting his nose all up to, the bastard). Of course sheena only admitted this a year or so later.
So, now I'm in. Mr. Crappy cowboy hat is no longer in the picture. The previous girl is no long in the picture. It's just me and Sheena. But I'm confident. The conversation wanders here and there, occasionally stopping by someplace for a drink. Eventually it settles on Scooby Doo. Sheena's infatuated with it, and the movie(1st not 2nd) just came out in the theaters. By the end of the night I got her number and set up a date to see Scooby Doo the next day. But the true artistry is yet to come
CONTINUED

The Story of Us (A Blatant Copying of a Movie Title Title)

2005-10-15T17:42:00.000-10:00

This story begins several years ago on a little piece of land in the middle of a vast ocean. It begins on a Friday, a rare Friday in that I had the day off. Jesse invited me to a cook-out on the beach with some friends from his old unit. We head down there and it's a total bust( there was one girl,back then parties were judged on the guy to girl ratio, more than the also important alcohol to person ration, but not more important then the me hooking up percentage. The breakdown worked like this, if the guy/girl was high enough the beer/person ratio was almost inconsequential, if the beer/person ratio was 12/1 or higher guy/girl isn't a factor, if the me hook-up percentage even has positive numbers, nothing else matters. That party had almost non-existent guy/girl, low beer/person & 0% of me hooking up). So I head down the beach. By pure chance I hook up with some buddies at Dukes (a beach bar in waikiki that places second in the beach bar category only to The Green Beach,which is in Israel and is literally so close to the surf that if a ten foot wave ever came up, half the bar would have been flooded) . One of them busts out a guitar and everyone starts making a fool of themselves, except me. I start talking to some girls sitting near us. Of course within ten minutes the vultures begin circling and everyone else moves over to the girls table. Somewhere in there Jesse turns up at Dukes also. Anyway, I'm doing good, nice potential, then Jesse drops de bomb. That night was Glens going away party at the Pearl Club(a country bar thats sole redeeming trait is that I met Sheena there) and it was time to go. As I get up the cute one of the girls (who up till that point I really hadn't talked to much) looks at me with eyes pleading me to stay, promising pleasures of the flesh.
"You're leaving?"
I started this story so back in the day because of this moment. This is one of two pivotal moments to arise for me during this adventure. I could have stayed, but then this story would be one of more of many torrid tales I have tell. That's not to say that I didn't regret the decision, I did, all during the car ride to the bar, walking up to and in the bar, all the way up to the point I saw Sheena for the first time. After that, all thoughts of the girl at the beach were forgotten.
CONTINUED