The Story of Us:Part 4 (The Simpsons & Baby Blues)

Dec. 4, 1979- Covered in various fluids I was forced out of the warmth of the only home I had known for the past 8 months. I was spanked, wiped down and my umbilical cord was severed forever cutting of the ties to my mothers womb. Nobody bothered to ask me if this was what I wanted. 23 years and 39 days my son suffered the same fate. This is his story, told as I saw events transpire that day.
Jan 11, 2004- Imagine if you will, a house. In this house live a man and a woman. The man is preparing for work, he has just started work again after several weeks off in anticipation of the birth of his 1st child. The woman (belly swollen from a baby already a week overdue) has just had her water break. Since they are both new at this, they are unsure of exactly what has just happened. There is a discussion going on as to whether or not a hospital visit is warranted. They have made many trips to the hospital in the last few weeks due to false alarms and it is decided that this is probably just another one. The man goes to work, he works the night shift as a mall security guard. He comes home at approx. 6 in the morning, tired from a long shift of walking around aimlessly all night. The woman is awake, she is now certain that a hospital trip is necessary. Tired from the long night at work and working on no sleep the man drives the woman to the hospital where the woman's suspicions are confirmed. The baby if finally on his way. The woman is set up on an adjustable bed, the man is left to suffer on an uncomfortably small chair. He tries to stay awake to comfort his wife, but eventually his weariness overcomes him and he falls asleep. He is unable to get much sleep tho, because the woman is constantly bickering at him about something. He tries to do his best, he knows she is in pain, but his mind is slow and irritable from the lack of sleep. Finally she is given an epadiral and calms down. The man can finally rest and so can she.
Jan 12 2004 at 5pm the woman receives the first signs of that the child is ready to come out.The nurse is called in and begins to coach the woman. The man stands out of the way. Soon enough the man is asked to help the woman push by holding one of her legs. He did not want to find himself in this position,he wanted to be next to his wife holding her hand. He did not want to be anywhere with a view of what was happening below her waist. Sadly this was not to be, there was a shortage of nurses due to the many babies being born that day and he was needed down below. Thankfully the Simpsons came on the room television providing the needed distraction during the woman's rest periods. The nurses made fun of the man for this, but he figured it was better than passing out. Indeed the day ones child is born is a glorious day, but it's a thing best watched from a vantage point that allows one to not see a head sticking out of a place one would rather not see a head sticking out of. The Simpsons could at least allow the man a space of time in which to pretend he hadn't just seen what he had seen. It is proven that god himself approved of this arrangement for as the credits of The Simpsons begin rolling the mans son is brought fully into this world.He is wiped down, and handed to the man to cut the umilical cord forever severing his sons ties to the womans womb.

THE END