Batteries not included

My mechanical skills are lacking. As far as I know the engine could be fancy housing for a couple of gerbils and thier little gerbil wheels (in the case of my car I don't doubt this as it has trouble going up hills. It's a matter of gerbil power, not horsepower). I have twice gotten a flat tire and opened up the hood looking for the problem (really, when you go inside to tell your wife something is wrong with the engine and she's the one who spots the flat tire you have no business near a car with tools of any kind ). Since the flat tire incidents I have improved. I have actually changed a flat tire and replaced the light bulb in the taillight.So, when our car broke down last week I felt fairly confident in my ability to replace the battery (that thing that provides electricity so the gerbils don't have to work in the dark). I set about my work with a wrench, pliers, a knife, a towel and a litter of Pepsi(for the corrosion on the connectors). After an hour of grunting, straining, and scraping it became obvious that the nut wasn't coming off the bolt.I called my dad. He suggested cutting the bolt off and replacing the connectors. Sheena,meanwhile, had called one of her mechanical inclined co-workers.He suggested banging it with a hammer (the bang-it-with-a-hammer technique has a long history in all types of mechanics dating back to 1805 when Edward(Eddie) bagitwithahammer invented the technique when he got irate at his phonograph and took a hammer to it). Never one to miss an opportunity to bang something with a hammer (I blame this on never attending pre-school,in general I blame everything on this). Within 5 min the connector was off and I went to work trying to get the nut off the bolt. It became apparent that even with the better angle I was able to achieve it wasn't budging. Luckily dad had already explained how to change the connectors so I was prepared. What I wasn't prepared for was the box. One of the wires coming off the connector wondered around until it went out of sight on it's journey to give light to the gerbils. The other wasn't a wire. It was a sheet of copper that fit snuggly into a box about the size of a pack of baseball cards (or yu-gi-o cards for you anime dorks out there). This wouldn't have bothered me to much except the whole thing was corroded. At this point I gave up and called in the paid professionals. A #%$^#!!!box cost me approx. $100 and for all I know it's the gerbils refridgerator.